What if someone told you that the deep ache in your heart could serve as a healing guide? The ache of longing and the breaking of the heart releases an enormous amount of energy that guides you toward becoming more sensitive, intuitive, inspired and original.

Why do hearts get broken over and over again in romantic relationships? Perhaps it is because of our insensitivity and selfishness as humans. Or maybe it is because a heartbreak denied makes it darn near impossible for future relationships to thrive. If we stave off the pain of a breaking heart, we effectively shut down our own feelings and sensitivities - handicapping us in our future relationships.

In this article I will show you that how you handle your disappointments in love will set you up for success or failure in your next relationship. If you let yourself feel the full force of the agony of a relationship-gone-bad, you will increase your capacity for love. How you handle a break-up can change you and improve every relationship that comes after.

It is not just a cliché in a country folk song that a breaking heart can unleash powerful forces and can open your heart in ways that no other spiritual or self-help practice can.

1. You become more intuitive. For making your way through our increasingly complex world you will need to rely more and more on intuition. There are too many choices these days, too many possible outcomes. Your intuition can lead you out of the confusing maze in a way that rational analysis cannot.

Intuition comes from deep connection to the energies of our heart. Even if, and especially if the heart is in pain, tuning into its energies connects us with an intelligence - far more vast and subtle than that of our heads.

2. Your genius is a product of your unique heartaches. Genius requires originality, not technical perfection achieved through years of demanding discipline. Your genius is the expression of your most essential self. If you cut off your heartaches you are cutting of a huge portion of your soul and the sensitivity, energy and intelligence that is yours alone.

Heartache pushes you outside of your normal state of consciousness. You become deranged in some small way. This derangement is necessary to push you into the originality that is essential to genius. We have always known that there is some connection between madness and genius. Heartbreak pushes us close to the edge of madness without having to fully lose it.

3. You become more sensitive. When your heart is breaking, the demands of the real-world fall away. We become attuned to every nuance of our feelings and memories that play through our mind. Because everything becomes trivial except for the enormity of the loss we are facing, we garner enormous powers of concentration on the subtle energies in our heart.

This highly attuned state increases our sensitivity, to ourselves and to others. We gain so much compassion for ourselves and for others. When others go through loss we recognize the agony and ecstasy of each stage of aching because we have gone through hell and returned to tell our story.

4. You become more loving. A heartbreak denied leads to death in life. We harden our heart to stave off the pain we know is there but refuse to feel. The cool, aloof, hardened person is the one who refused to open their heart for fear of unleashing the pain that is there. In contrast, the person who has gone to the depths of their own heartaches and breaks has carved out depths that contain vast amounts of loving energy.

Having weathered a heartbreak you will reach your own deepest capacity for loving others. The pain etches deep valleys in our soul, and these valleys measure the span of our ability to love. These increased abilities to love are magnetic, others sense the startling capacity to feel and love are attracted to these rare qualities.

Our current culture of chronic self-improvement as the path to finding love and healing has it all wrong. We do not find love by becoming happier, shinier people. We find love, not by becoming more lovable, but ultimately by becoming more loving. We become more loving through honoring every movement of our heart, and in this human life that means facing the ache of loss.

We have all been in relationships that end in betrayal, loss or deep disappointment. Of course we feel so much pain. However this pain is not wasted energy or wasted time. We can use the energy of a breaking heart to connect with our own heart.

Rather than armoring yourself from the pain, which will  hurt you and all your relationships by numbing you, you can choose to feel the pain and use it for your own benefit. The pain of a heartbreak can be used as a tool to create a more loving, unique, sensitive and intuitive You!

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