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Dr. Lara Honos-Webb's Visionary Soul
Newsletter |
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In This Issue: |
March 2005 |
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Check out the March 15 Newsweek on
newstands now which features Dr.
Lara Honos-Webb's book The Gift of
ADHD. The book argues that
differences do not mean that a
person has a disorder. Diagnosing
children with Attention
Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is
like telling women they have a
Penis-Deficit/Hypermammary Disorder.
What are the gifts of ADHD?
1. Creativity
2. Interpersonal Intuition
3. Emotional Sensitivity
4. Exuberance
5. Ecological Consciousness
The link for the newsweek article is
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7102727/site/newsweek/
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In my forthcoming book, "The Gift of
Depression" I offer a different way
of thinking about depression.
Depression is meant to stop you in
your tracks. It is meant to
communicate to you that something in
your life is out of sync. It might
be that you need to change jobs,
relationships or just change an
ideal that is keeping you from
enjoying your current job or
relationship. Depression leads to
personal transformation. It is meant
to be a withdrawal from your day to
day life to guide you toward
creating a new life more in line
with you highest values, desires and
needs.
When a plane is flying across the
country it is given a navigation
system to help it stay on its track
so it will get where it is supposed
to go and so it will not interfere
with other airplanes in flight. If
the airplane deviates even slightly
off its trajectory, the navigation
system alerts the pilot that the
airplane is off course and the
corrective changes are made so that
airplane stays on track. Similarly,
depression can be a signal alerting
you to the fact that you have gone
off course.
If you have a personal story or case
study disguised and appropriate for
inclusion in the forthcoming book,
you can share your story by sending
it to
lhonoswebb@msn.com
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Do you feel like your life is filled
with meaningless activities? Do you
find yourself immersed in emotional
chaos? How can you bring more
meaning into your life? One way to
get back on track is to pay close
attention to your inner voices and
feelings. Each feeling provides a
clue for directing you back to your
life purpose. The universe is
constantly directing you to get back
in tune with your destiny. These
directions come to you through your
feelings.
Think of an emotion that is plaguing
you recently. It might be shame,
jealousy, anger, or hatred. Rather
than using your energy to make this
troublesome emotion go away, imagine
that this very emotion provides an
important clue to linking you to a
vision of your destiny. For example,
consuming anger may be telling you
that you need to protect yourself
from others. Anger is an important
message that is telling you that you
are entitled to better treatment.
Anger is usually a call to leave a
relationship or work setting or
alternatively to fight. Sometimes we
need to fight an injustice to make
the way easier for others who will
follow us. Our anger may be a sign
of one way in which we were meant to
serve the world. If we are called to
fight, the anger will fuel us with
all the energy we need. If our
energy flags than we may consider
that it is important to pick our
battles.
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“Where there is no vision, the
people perish” (Proverbs).
This quote can be seen as a sign of
the times. People are working
themselves into exhaustion, but have
little time to reflect if they are
spending their time how they want
to. I see all too often people who
are climbing furiously up the ladder
of success who, years later, realize
that the ladder was not the right
one. Instead of being an actress she
really wanted to work closely with
children. Instead of being a
football coach, he really wanted to
go to medical school. We work to
achieve our goals, we play to find
our vision. Take time to play this
week and indulge your urges and
whims.
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Q? You say that telling exuberant
children they have ADHD is like
telling women they have a Penis
Deficit Hypermammary Disorder.
Explain that.
To say a woman has a Penis Deficit
Hypermammary Disorder would be
offensive because it would be a
clear example of taking differences
and turning those differences into a
disorder. Similarly, children with
ADHD really are different from other
children. I don’t say in my book
that ADHD is not real or that
children so diagnosed do not need
appropriate individualized attention
in school settings. I say that these
children ARE different from other
kids in predictable ways. I also say
that those differences can even be
seen as a gift. Just as women’s
anatomical differences allow them to
birth and feed babies which is a
gift men are not equipped to do, so
too do children with ADHD have
capacities that other children do
not have. These gifts should be
appreciated and developed.
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If you are feeling a sense of being
alone, of heart break, or going
through a difficult time in your
romantic relationships, you can use
your experience to heal yourself.
You can reclaim your deepest
capacity for loving by starting to
honor yourself. This means honoring
your feelings of desperation and
heart ache. Here are five helpful
tips for getting through upheavals
in your romantic life.
1. Give yourself permission to let
your heart ache
2. If you’re going through a
difficult ending, remember that the
best revenge is your own happiness
3. Do not dismiss any past
relationship or lack of a present
relationship as a waste of time
4. Explore the meaning of a past
relationship for how it gives you a
hint to your life destiny.
The way you treat your soul in this
moment, is the way you are inviting
the world to treat you in the next
moment. If you cut off your own
feelings and pretend you are not
feeling desperate when you are, you
are setting yourself up to be cut
off in the next moment. Your
feelings will connect you to your
soul which will give you a vision of
your life purpose.
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Forward this newsletter to a friend!
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